I have come down with a really bad cold. I can manage, but I had to cancel playgroups and outside actitivities for two days now. I figured that feeling as bad as I do, I would allow us to watch tv, which we normally don't do other than the 8p.m. news. And I figured I might indulge a bit in child-centered play with dd, and NOT beat myself up for it.
I hardly did anything but sit on the couch and rest. Dd entertained herself easily. Sometimes she came for some breastmilk, sometimes she handed me toys and I played with her for a minute or two. I did not think about how I'm parenting her for one second. I felt like I deserve a break. I did not care about our next activitiy, about how much time we spend outside, about getting fresh air and movement, about eating well. Feeling weak and tired, blowing my nose all day, I just made do.
And guess what, we had two easy days. Maybe not Yequana level perfection, but a lot easier than our normal days. She just feel asleep in the wrap without any fuss at all, and without nursing.
I seriously wonder if I make things more complicated than they have to be, taking her to locations where I have to restrict her need for movement, at least for some time. Observing whether she seems to be unsatisfied, and thinking about how it's probably best to do nothing, but wondering if I'm still in the Continuum.
I'm sure she felt some frustration today if something didn't work, etc., but I only noticed it in the periphery. I hate to say it, but two days of watching trash tv really helped with that! My focus was on the tv so my thoughts could not revolve around my parenting.
Definitely something to keep in mind! I am glad I had a cold now so I could experience how effortless it all can be. I hope it's not all just a conincidence.