Thursday, August 25, 2016

Expectations while being in the lead

I realized something today when I was asking my daughter to come to me to get her hair brushed:

I did not actually expect my request to be carried out! 

I did not REALLY expect things to work. I kind of expected her to stay where she is. Which is what she did. Ha ha. I am usually asking three or four times, getting a little more irritated with each time, and then she will usually come to me.

I am doing my best to really respect her and her boundaries, while keeping good care of her at the same time (as in brushing hair, brushing teeth, etc. - We tried for a long time to let her do this herself but the results just weren't nearly the same). This can be confusing for me. Is this ok to ask? Is that maybe uncomfortable for her and that's why she does not want to? Hm.

I've understood today that if I want her to do something for me, I need to ask her in a way that I find convincing. If I am not convinced of myself being in the lead, how will she be? (Obviously, I am talking about things that are ok to ask from a 3 y/o!)

My mom was very helpful for me with this insight. So often I see her ask my daughter something (something that is no issue at all, and being with my 3 year old 24/7, I have the advantage of knowing that). Very often my daughter does exactly as my mom asked, and my mom is soooo surprised every time! Ha ha.

As in "Oh ... really? THANKS! I did not think you would actually do it". Ha ha. 

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