Summer update & the sweet twos!

Picking berries is still one of dd's favorite activities.

Almost all ripe berries were gone when we left!

Wow, it's been a while!
My only excuse is that I had an awful lot of paperwork to do and no time to blog.

So far, this summer has had some very hot and many rainy days. Nevertheless, I am getting better at going outside with dd when it's raining heavily. It really does help to have appropriate clothing for all seasons. Actually, it was fun and refreshing to go outside with dd in the pouring rain the other day! We didn't stay outside very long (maybe 90mins?) but came back energized and happy.

Checking out a hole in a huge stone at a local park.

Dd turned two this summer. We have officially entered the stage of the "terrible twos" where apparently tantrums and mayhems can strike at any moment. Actually, nothing has happened and so far, there has been nothing terrible about the terrible twos. She is still sweet and rarely ever fusses. I'm extremely grateful for that and it makes parenting her joyful and easy. I do see that dd is strong-willed and can tell how she develops her little strategies to get something. I love that and we almost always find a way to meet both our needs and wants.

I have no one else to take care of dd so I have to take her with me when I have an official appointment. So far it always went well. I often bring a book or something for her to play with just in case, but often the doctor's office (or where ever we have to go) are enough to keep her interested in her new surroundings for a while.

Taking a break to have some water.

Going outside is still our main and favorite activity. It makes for a relaxed mom and a relaxed child! There is SO much to explore. It hardly ever gets boring. There are always people she likes to chat with. The other day, a man handed dd his dog's leash so she could walk the dog for a while. She had tons of fun and even the dog seemed to enjoy walking with her.

Sometimes we did go to playgrounds this summer and dd still loves the baby swing. She needs help to get inside, though. I like watching her walking up to one of the mothers, asking them in her baby babble if she could use the swing, and always ending up getting help! I let her explore these social situations freely, and enjoy seeing her interact with others. I DO see the looks of "where is this little girl's mother?" and then raise my hand to waive, as if saying "No worries, I'm right here".

Picking more berries.

I find dd to be so much more independent now. She will easily go to the zoo with hubby for several hours, or go to a playground with my mother when she comes to visit. 

Playing in the heat at a local water playground with grandmother sitting nearby.

As dd gets older, she always finds new things to explore and do by herself. It's still a new learning experience for me, every time. Every time I have to make an effort to trust her again, although it does get easier with time knowing that it has always worked out so far.

Climbing! Ah! I really had to hold my breath in order to keep calm and let her explore the window sill.

How has your summer been so far?

Wishing you lots of happy days filled with joyful activities.
Remember to keep it task-oriented instead of child-centered!

EC gathering and spring is coming

So much has happened recently, and so little time to blog.
I wish I would write more.

I gave my first talk on The Continuum Concept (TCC) at an EC gathering two days ago.
Welcome to anyone who has joined this blog after we met there, I'm glad to have you!

I loved it and could have talked so much longer. I believe more people than normal showed up, which shows the interest in TCC. I was very happy to share a bit of what I have learned so far. All the little and big things that make our life easier, more joyful and more harmonious.

I have to say, it is indeed a smooth ride most of the time. And when it's not, really, I don't worry about it but take it as a gentle reminder to get back in my continuum rhythm.

Spring is coming and we spent a lot of time outside in nature.

Wow, thinking back I remember how hard that was for me at first. I didn't really know any good spots to go to in the city. It was winter. Dd was still crawling and I didn't want to put her down for fear of her becoming soaking wet within a few minutes.

It's all so much easier these days.

In fact, hubby often tries to do me a favor by taking dd to the zoo for some hours. I really dislike being inside so much on those days (then again, I don't really go out by myself either).

Alexsandra often tells me that nature is our home. It really is! I feel so good when I'm in nature, like I can finally be myself.

Seriously, it's hard to worry about something when you're there. 

When the weather forecast looks good, I take dd outside for as long as we can. We walk, we collect stones, we take little sticks from the road and throw them back into the woods. There are always dogs she can play with for a while. We take a lot of breaks, have a snack and some water.

Today we spent pretty much at home though. Hubby has come down with a fever and sleeps in the living room, and I go and check in on him every hour. Dd and I still had an active and lovely day. We prepared food and then shared it, we cleaned our apartment a bit, we built something with toys. We went grocery shopping several times, and inspired by the music in one grocery store, we had a little 80ies revival party back home.

She's sleeping in the ring sling as I'm typing this blogpost.

I always find it so much easier to be in my continuum rhythm outside though. So really, if you want to get started with TCC, go outside.

If you have to stay inside, sing and dance. Have a party! Chances are your child will love it.

Good luck and if you like, let me know how it goes.

One of my favorite spots in beautiful Neanderthal.

Modeling behavior & a few insights

- We had another CC gathering on Wednesday which was really nice.

- Dd has started using her potty on her own now. She was naked one morning, and suddenly told me "pee pee", got up, went to the bathroom, sat down on her potty and peed into it.
This is pretty much how I modeled it to her. I say "Oh, I have to pee", go to the bathroom and use the toilet.
I have little attachment to when exactly she goes without diapers all the time. I feel neither like pushing nor delaying this. I assume she will use the potty more and more often with time.

- Reminded myself of something that Alexsandra Burt shared with me: Don't try to make the child happy - try to meet the child's needs in the best way you can.
I find it important that other people are not too attached to my happiness. In fact, someone you can share deep sadness with is very valuable! It's nice to be allowed to feel not-so-great sometimes, without anyone trying to fix it.

- Forgot to mention that dd did cut herself a while ago. She was eating sweet corn from a can and must have cut herself with the lid. She still hasn't cut herself with a knife, even though she sometimes uses one as a spoon. It's quite hard for me to watch sometimes but she seems to be ok.

- One day hubby and I were talking with each other and dd started to wander around. She came accross a fluff ball in the corner of our bedroom. She went to the kitchen, got herself a hand broom, came back and cleaned it up. I am more and more convinced of simply modeling how things are done in our culture. We said "oh, thank you", but otherwise did not make it a big deal to preserve her inner motivation - I want to avoid making dd dependent on our praise. 

- Oftentimes giving dd a few seconds to do something makes a major difference. I often remind myself to take things slow and not just rush through everything.

- Not really CC related, but: Dd is totally into blueberries at the moment. Blueberries make for blue poop - I feel like I am diapering a smurf!

Trusting the child's abilities

A few pics of dd's little adventures at home - these were a few times I had the time to get my camera ready.

She often amazes me with the oddest positions, and (almost) always without hurting herself.

climbing up a ladder, 18 months old

Still, I have no idea how she managed to stand on the edge of her potty for so long, or sit on the edge of a wooden box, without falling. From every angle it looked physically impossible to me, but hey. The worst thing that could have happened was falling, so I just let her experiment. She was fine the whole time though and seemed to enjoy herself.

balancing on the edge of her potty at 17 months

Sitting on a wooden box, 13 months old

Starting to use the potty

Dd has started to use the potty a few days ago.

She has been interested for quite a while now in what I do in the bathroom. Now she follows me to the toilet, takes a piece of toilet paper, and sits down on her potty. I normally help her with her clothes and her diaper. Often times she just sits there, and when I get up from the toilet, she gets up from her potty, too, and says "empty". But she has also used it quite a bit as an actual potty.

I tried not to get the super-excited-wow-you-did-it-proud-mommy-look on my face, but I'm not sure if that worked. It want using the potty to be something normal and not scare her off of it by an intense reaction. But secretly I think it's great - it's one more thing she can do by herself, and it means less diapers.

This approached has worked best for us so far, me doing things the way I do them, dd observing me, and then starting to imitate me when she's ready.

Why I'm not worried about my child learning social behavior

[Warning - some readers might not agree with me, plus this blog post is full of bragging about my child!]

The topic of children needing other children to learn social behavior came up in our local playgroup recently. Some mothers give their toddlers into day-care centers for that reason, even if it's just for a few hours.

I'm a bit hesitant to write about this, because my daughter is still so young (almost 19 months). Still, personally, I am not worried at all about her learning social behavior.

I believe children are indeed born as social creatures who have to fit in their tribe to survive, just like Jean Liedloff said. They've got it all in them from the start!

Also, I've never seen children this young play together anyway. They rather play by themselves, sitting next to each other. CC consultant Alexsandra Burt said that children under three years (give or take) don't really need play dates.

I've never seen dd hit another child, and the only child I've ever seen her push was a girl older than her who repeatedly tried to sit on dd's lap. She bit one boy's finger when, after hitting her in the face, he put his finger in her mouth. So far, if anything, it has been self defense, and I usually see her get away from anyone using violent behavior before it starts. Even when dd must have been in a lot of pain from an eczema she had for long, she would cry often but never took it out on anyone else.

When tidying up in playgroups, dd helps put the toys away. She loves to go to other mothers and enjoys their company, too. Whenever we go out, she smiles at people so much.

She follows me everywhere around the house. As soon as I wash my hands, she waits to hand me a towel (yes, really). How nice and social is that? Whenever someone puts on shoes to leave our house, dd gets her shoes to join them.

I'm very confident that any child's social behavior is just fine (if not fantastic) from birth. There is no need to teach them anything. They learn by observing others and make up their little minds about what works and what doesn't. As Jean Liedloff said: "Learning is natural. Teaching is not."

I'd love to hear your opinion! Feel free to leave a comment.

Active mother, happy toddler

It's been a month since I haven't blogged - ooops! Too busy with life and had little laptop time.

Just wanted to share the details of our particularly good day today. I was busy all day long, doing chores like doing the laundry, cleaning our entire apartment, preparing food, eating, grocery shopping, etc.
Dd sometimes joins in or she doesn't.
I was focused on the task at hand.

Hubby asked what I gave dd for dinner since she was so happy and cheerful. Haha.
Well, that's the power of TCC! It's makes for happy and relaxed children.

I wish I was that active every day!

Alexsandra Burt said that one BIG reason (amongst others, of course) why children are unhappy is that they need continuous activity (that they can join if they like, or only observe if they like) but don't get it.
It's probably harder on your own but it can be done. I guess we all dream of a friendly tribe of like-minded people so that there is activity all day long. It can be done on your own, too. And, it's probably still less work than putting up with an unhappy child all day long.