Our CC week

This week was fun because ...

... it was my dad's birthday, and we spent some days at his place to celebrate with him.

Dd helping me to pack a parcel

~ Dd is a real bundle of joy. At least most of the time. It's rare for her not to be a happy-smily-yay little girl. Which, in turn, makes me a happy mother, at least most of the time!

~ She greets everyone outside with a loud "hi!!!!!" and a big smile. Oh my goodness. She loves people.

~ It's still weird for me to carry her so little outside. She weighs 11kg (approx. 24 pounds) now. I still love carrying my little one. I mostly carry her in arms when we are going for a walk. Some seconds are enough for her to recover, and then she almost jumps down on her own.

~ Hubby and dd went to a zoo for the first time. They were gone for FOUR hours. She has never been away from me for that long. They both enjoyed it so much. They were so much in love when they came home! Hubby said several times he will always remember that day. They enjoyed it so much, and it was the first time they did something on their own (other than a longer walk).

~ Gosh, I really dislike clipping dd's nails. Or rather how much she hates it. I have to clip them often because she has atopic eczema and scratches herself often. Sometimes it goes really well, especially if someone or something distracts dd a bit. Sometimes not at all. It's easier if I put her in front of the tv / youtube - everything's better than having a crying toddler and try to clip the fingernails.

~ Washing her hair is easy compared to clipping nails. I only rinse her hair with water every now and then, and I do it quickly. She's not a big fan but it's over before she can complain about it. 

~ Forgot to mention that when we were at my mother's house, I left her with my mother to take some parcels to the post office two days in a row. She stayed with her just fine, and both times I came home and they were both napping. Haha. Very sweet! Dd cried the first time when I left, but it did feel ok and I heard how she stopped crying some seconds later. The second time she gave me a big smile and waved good bye. This was the first time I left her with someone other than my husband. I was only gone for 20-30mins but still.

~ Dd lost one shoe while climbing up the stairs to our apartment. She called for me and the way she "spoke" and acted, I KNEW she had lost her shoe. I went back and there it was, some steps below her. I was surprised how well the communication worked, through a mixture of actual verbal language, gestures, context and telepathy. She did not actually say "Mommy, I lost my shoe", but it was obvious to me that this was what she meant to express. 

Our CC week

~ Dd and I had to spend a week at my mother's place (hubby was so sick he wanted our apartment for himself).
Whoa! You know how family can be. I've somehow gotten through this. I'm kidding, but seriously, it's not always easy for me to be with my own mother. BUT my mother has a dog, and the dog and dd really became friends. The dog discovered that dd loves to feed him, and whoever feeds him is his new best friend. Dd discovered that the dog is quite interesting and loves to eat whatever food she throws up in the air.

Us playing (for lack of a better activity). I build something bridge-like, put plastic cups on it, and threw little objects until all plastic cups were on the floor.

Dd on one of our little hikes in nature

Dd dancing with a dancing dog (he moves his ears and plays a song. Horrible, if you ask me, but dd loves this thing)

 

My mother and my daughter :-)

~ I went to see my own grandmother. She said that she would still learn so much about parenting FROM ME. Yes, she really said that, after having raised two sons and four grandchildren (we spent tons of time at her place). She's 90 years old now. She admitted she had been worried about dd and myself being too close, and that dd would never want to separate from me.
When my youngest sister told her how happily dd played with everyone at the playground last time we went there, my grandmother was very relieved. When dd was born she told me to let her cry, and let her sleep on her own. I know she really meant well. I admire that at 90 years, she is still flexible enough to change her mind on things! She said that all the co-sleeping and baby-wearing seem to have worked well for us.

Our CC week

A bit late but here it goes ....

~ Taking public transit is so much easier now. Not sure why. A couple of times I sat down with her, and she did not move or fuss in the wrap. If she did, it was just a bit, and I just got up etc. Not much was necessary to keep dd happy.

A dear mommy friend and I went for a hike out of the city with the little ones. It was so easy to take the train/bus with them.
We went on the same trip some months ago and were both covered in sweat (and it only takes us 16mins to get there) before we even started the hike. It was quite a bit of work to keep the children happy, and at some point I felt very humble. It's hard to act cool when a very fussy toddler tries to get off your lap and run through the train.
So I was very pleased how easy it was this time. 

Dd exploring the path before of us.

Some older boys passing by.

~ Diaper changes are a breeze by now. Sometimes I ask her to come to me and then she comes and I change her diapers.

~ Dd has still been crawling a lot but now (at 15 months) is walking to get from A to B. It was October 10 (as a first-time mother I had to write that down) that for the first time ever, she walked home by herself. It felt awkward not to carry her. I was not prepared for that. Anyway, our in-arms-phase has definitely come to an end now.

~ She can be so charming. Waving good bye, smiling at people, etc. I see so many happy faces when we meet new people.

~ She does some sort of wild dance when she hears the theme song of "Big Bang Theory" (the only tv we watch - I do my best to limit tv). She also danced with my mother when we went to a big department store and there was some lovely music playing.

~ We had to see an ophthalmologist and it was fuss-free.

~ Dd looked at the reflection of her hand on the metal tab in our bath tub. I believe she starts to realize it's her own hand.

~ A bit OT, but things are so much better with hubby. We had some arguments and were a bit stressed a while ago. It's nice to feel the love again.

~ Dd fell off the couch. Ouch. I saw her sitting on the very edge of our couch and turned around to use the laptop quickly. Then I heard her hit the floor. Ouch again. Not sure if I unconsciously expected her to fall. In any case, it reminded me to keep positive pictures in my mind to create positive expectations. Expecting her to stay on the couch, etc.

~ Thansk to CC consultant Alexsandra Burt, I discovered the power of heartmath. Too much to write it all down, maybe in another blog post. I felt very calm and centered. I believe I even had more positive experiences!

~ And also re-discovered the power of direct speech. I was carrying dd on my back and she started to fuss. I normally take her out then. This time though, I asked her if she could stay there for another moment until I finish whatever I was doing. She became very calm and just sat there. Sometimes direct speech works so well, it's almost scary.

Our CC week

~ Lesson of the week: ALWAYS bring a ring sling.
We went to a babywearing meet-up and as a total first-time-mother I thought the little hike in the beginning would consist of a continuous walk. Haha! Dd (15 months) was by far the youngest child, and we stopped all the time so the older kids could explore the beautiful park. Which resulted in me wrapping her, then taking her out, wrapping her again, taking her out, wrapping her .... you get the picture. I normally always have BOTH a ring sling and a longer wrap with me, just in case. For long walks (sometimes dd falls asleep and I just walk by myself) I prefer the wrap because a ring sling hurts one shoulder after a while. For shorter periods of time, the ring sling is just so much quicker. Oh well, next time.

~ On that same hike, I started to take a little pride in my trust in dd's abilities to watch out for herself. Several times someone warned me about dd being about to fall. The sweetest was a Turkish (?) father of two who seemed genuinely concerned about dd falling down a slide. By now I pretty much know that sometimes she crawls / walks somewhere quickly, but stops when she has to. I've rarely ever seen her being incautious, at least not that I recall. It's a really empowering feeling.

~ We watched a documentary about Thor Heyerdahl, the big adventurer who sailed from Latin America to the Philippines with nothing but a raft and a small crew. I had heard his name before but wasn't aware of his accomplishments, especially in experimental archeology. I couldn't help but find an analogy to the CC when they explained how he build the raft, based on old knowledge from the ancient cultures he studied. Everyone advised him not to do it as it was obviously a very dangerous endeavor, but he trusted his instincts and did it anyway. He trusted that if it had been working for people centuries ago, he could repeat their experiences (and he successfully arrived in the Philippines after more than 100 days, with the entire crew alive). How cool was he? Simply figuring it must work, but having no example of something similar in his current life, and just trusting the process.

- Just a detail, but nail clipping went really well today. Dd was half asleep and nursing, and didn't mind me clipping her nails at all. Normally I try to be as gentle and quick as I can, but she often fights it and it's not exactly a fun moment for her.

~ We went out for lunch on my mom's birthday, and dd was really easy to be around. She sat in her chair, on my lap, and my husband took her out for a little walk. Even the ride there was easy. My mom was sitting next to her in the car, and judging by the grandmother & baby laughter in the back of the car, they both had fun.

~ This isn't specifically something I wanted to mention for this week, but I wanted to write it down anyway: Brushing teeth is always fun for us as dd virtually begs us to give her her toothbrush. She "brushes" her teeth herself and hands me her toothbrush to clean as soon as I clean mine. I will be careful to never mention to her that most children don't like brushing their teeth. I always act like it's a big treat.

Our CC week

I will try to blog once per week, which I should be able to do consistently.

The last few days, I found the following situations interesting in terms of TCC:

- We were in a park with large stairs. Dd wanted down so I took her out of the sling, put her down, and kept on walking (very slowly). She came down the stairs on her own, with caution and lots of focus on her movements. Two old ladies stopped and asked if dd was already able to get down the stairs herself.
I chose to be as honest as I could and said that I don't actually know, because this was the first time we really tried this. But that I have come to know dd as a cautious and and rather adept child so I wouldn't worry. It was nice to see how the old ladies trusted my judgement on this one. Plus dd was obviously fine and made it down the stairs all by herself.

- We get longer and longer stretches of sleep at night. We even had a night where we both must have slept 10 hours without any interruption. At least I don't remember any and my breast were full of milk in the morning, so it seems dd didn't nurse at night. Most often we sleep 5-6 hours in a row these days.
Dd naps once per day, mostly in the afternoon for around 2 hours on average.

- I tried a new ruck cross carry and find it very comfortable as dd's weigth is mostly on the chest pass and not so much on the shoulders. Dd must weigh around 21 dounds at the moment (almost 10kg) so I am probably lucky to have a rather light toddler.



stillen-und-tragen.de (thanks so the mother who uploaded this beautiful Picture!)


 

- I joined the facebook group "wrap jedis" and recommend it, tons of fun, and there is a lot of good advice on all the different carries. I love woven wraps for their versatility, and this group shows me a lot of new carries I can try.

- We went to our monthly cloth diaper meet-up, and dd climbed up the stairs to a little wooden house. She called for me when she wanted down. Which made me realize that she knows that she cannot do it herself yet (especially with lots of other children walking up and down the same small stairs). It's important to know that!

- Oh and an older boy beat her up. :-( When she was up in the house she suddenly started to cry and I was up there two nanoseconds later and pulled the boy off her. He totally did it on purpose and tried to hurt her. Seriously, seeing that broke my heart. Dd was fine some seconds later but I took it really hard! I need to watch out for her more when other children are around.

- I'm grateful for another little boy who just turned 3, and they are so sweet together. They make each other laugh, have lots of fun, and he often watches out for her. I've seen him tell other kids to take good care because she's still a baby. Heartwarming.

- I think that three hours of time spent ouside daily are a good compromise for us at the moment. It's a good base for dd and what I can do realistically on a daily basis.

- I have gotten a little better at doing my daily activities with dd. It's not always super easy to find an age-appropriate way for her to join in. But we're getting there. I'm having another skype session on this specifically with Alexsandra Burt tonight. How to keep dd happy inside.

Consulting session #4 with Alexsandra Burt

I've been wanting to write this blog post for a while now. Weeks have gone by since we've had our fourth session.

Every time I feel so relieved, reassured, and understood.

This time we spoke about some issues I have when we are inside a lot.

The most important message was: Carry on joyously what you're doing!

Quite often, I let myself get distracted by dd complaining or making unhappy sounds. Ok, every time I get distracted by that. I wonder if I did something wrong, why we're not in the continuum, and what not.

I practiced that a lot - just carrying on what I was doing. It was easy because I no longer feel bad if she complains a little. I just try to find a way she can help me with what I'm doing, or I find something she can do (things she has forgotten about), or I take her outside (that is almost guaranteed to work). Pretty much what I did before, but without beating myself up!

We talked about so much else, but this was the most important message for me this time.

Not to try so hard, but enjoy more. Not to take frustration over something dd cannot get to work right away for unhappiness.

Humor and joy

Some days ago I asked hubby if I should hold dd while he is doing chores at night (aering the room, packing his bag for the next day).

His reply was: "We're fully in the continuum, please don't disturb!".

I had a really good laugh.

He has a way of using the things I talk about in little jokes a few days later. I had told him about doing all our daily activities with dd, and apparently he got the message.

I had fun today, too, making fun of myself. It helps me to lighten up when I take this entire parenting thing too seriously.

A famous parenting author talks about how we should be "light houses" for our children.

I washed my hands and dd wanted to be picked up, and I wanted to finish washing my hands. Dd was grumbling a little and I said "Common, I'm the light house here". Had to laugh about my own joke and dd laughed with me.