Our CC week

I enjoyed last week so much.

We stayed at home much more than we usually would because dd felt a little under the weather (runny nose, coughing). We went to a EC gathering (just so I can see what these gathering are like these days as I will present the Continuum Concept there next year - we do not do EC) and dd did not seem to enjoy company as much as she usually does, and was clingy. She cried easily and did not feel well. This time though, I did NOT ask myself whether this comes from any of my parenting. I just noticed, ha, dd is feeling unwell. I hugged her more often and got her a book and she looked at the pictures sitting on my lap while I followed the conversation. The same night she got really sick so this confirmed my intuition that she was simply feeling unwell.

We stayed mostly inside the next day and I just followed my intuition on how to do things. At night, when my husband came home, he asked: "What did you do with her? She's ecstatic!". She was very happy and smiley, obviously feeling better after a day full of rest.

Not much to say about this week except that it was really nice and felt right.

I wonder if I should attend playgroups, LLL gatherings etc. less often. I went from a very minimalist approach (around 3-4 activities per week) when dd was a few months old to up to three activities per day these last months. Quite a lot. I don't really know what's best for us. One thing I have noticed for sure is, that if I do so much, I no longer look forward to meeting with others as much. I want gatherings to be a joy and not a burden, so I guess I less is more in our case.

Indoor activities we did were: Buying and preparing food, cleaning, sewing, listening to music on youtube, mud masks in the bath tub, going for walks, building a Christmas tree from paper from a handricraft box my husband bought for us, doing laundry, dying a new wrap, writing Christmas letters to my parents and my in-laws and decorating them with little stars, hearts, etc., taking them to the post office, etc.

With every little thing, dd can do more and more each week. I try to find little things for her to do. Sometimes it doesn't really work but mostly it does. She takes a lot of pride in her ability to contribute!

Our (best) CC week (ever)

Last week was started out not so great (and then turned into our best week ever!).

We had some weird days and I felt more and more insecure about how to handle it. Having so many principles and techniques in mind can become confusing! Dd was whiny more often than normal for a CC child and I felt it's something I'm doing (or not doing).
Overall it was going very well but still, these situations did bother me!

I kind of gave up on Saturday. I laid on the couch. I felt tired. I have been working hard on this CC thing for a year now and still feel like I'm missing something obvious.
For some reason, I felt like asking hubby for advice might be a good idea.

No time to retype everything so I will simply repost my e-mail to my CC consultant Alexsandra Burt from last night (with a few minor changes):

"Had a pretty big insight yesterday after talking to hubby. I believe I know why [dd] cried and was a bit unhappy with me. So much to type and I'm already in bed so I will try to cut it short.

I had another "not so good" day with [dd] yesterday. We went to the woods and she seemed tired and whiny. My gut feeling has always been it's something I'm doing. I don't mean this in a negative way. Something simple. Something you would spot right away if you would see us for some hours. For example, I was walking into the woods and she walked somewhere else. I let her and slowly walked further. Then she started to cry. I remained where I was. She pretented to fall and said "ouch" and cried and stayed where she was. She did come to me later on but it was just painful for both of us, annoying and overall not going well at all.

At home I was desperate (overall it's going well, I know, but still, these situations bother me, seem unnecessary, and out of TCC). So I figured I ask hubby for advice. I asked  him if she cried at all the three last Sundays (they went to different zoos and were gone for 4-5 hours). He said no. (Same with my youngest sister - [dd] is so happy with her and it's not only distraction). This was odd for me, because both hubby and my sister engage with [dd] so much, talk to her, etc., are pretty child-centered I'd say. Everything I try to avoid. Why then does it work better than what I'm doing?

I told hubby about how [dd] went off, etc. If he had any advice for me (because he sees me every day and is so close to us, I thought maybe it's something that is obvious to him). He said he didn't know. But that he just doesn't let her walk away so far.

And this is when it struck me!!!!!

I realized I was no longer giving [dd] clear expectations and guidance. It's ok for me to guide her, and in fact I believe she needs just that. I was so committed to not interfering with what she is doing, hoping she will get it right, somewhat resenting her if she didn't live up to the vague expectations I have of an ideal CC child. OF COURSE this cannot get us anywhere. I felt a major relieve. Like I am FINALLY allowed to say something again, finally allowing myself to "steer the boat" again. Taking the burden off her little shoulders to always magically know what she should be doing or not be doing.

No cries today (except for hurting herself a bit when tumbling, and once more for some seconds when she had to stay in the sling because I was in a hurry and needed to get home on time).

I really believe this is it!

I have had so many insights since then, too much to type. I feel WAY more comfortable in my parenting now. I am more passionate  than ever about TCC. I feel so full of joy. Now I feel like I finally know how to do it! I had gotten so confused with what to allow, what to say, what not to say, hoping she would not whine again, etc. Now I feel like the knowledgeable person in the house again, the true rock of Gibraltar. The one you can go to when you need to know something, or need help. I am happy. I am around. If she needs me, I'm here. It all started when you said that whiny behavior comes from too much negotiation. I wondered for a long time, hm, maybe I am too much going back and forth with what I say. I realized last night, for example, darn, sometimes I let her touch the laptop, sometimes not. How is [dd] supposed to know??? Now I got clear on me not wanting her to touch the laptop (for now). She'll get used to it. Children are so good at getting used to clear rules, clear expectations.

Anyway. I HOPE we will carry on like that. I am very confident. It's been going so well that I feel so much love again! It all feels so right now. Like I finally have the last piece of the puzzle. Today I was coloring a book and [dd] was doing something with the sewing machine behind me. She was happy, I was happy. I realized, wow, this is it!!! This feels so RIGHT! We're back in TCC.

I have noticed today how I had started to resent [dd] here and there for being whiny. I had gotten irritable and frustrated from time to time. Now I feel like I can finally talk freely again, and all of a sudden I realized how I had lost trust in my own knowledge. Not even sure why.

Seriously, for some days I had been wondering [...] things are going down hill for us and I cannot figure out why. Now I feel like it's been right in front of me all the time and I suddenly opened my eyes to see it.

Just wanted to share that. I have seen [dd] smile so many times today, and I am no longer standing in my own way!"

Our CC week(s)

No time to blog last weekend so here's what happened for the last two weeks:

~ We got complimented a lot which warmed my heart! I am eternally doubting whether I'm doing things in a good way. So I was happy to hear from total strangers that we look very happy, harmonious, alert, relaxed, peaceful and what not. A cool lady who lives around here told me there aren't many mothers like myself and that she thinks I am very relaxed and know what I'm doing. Ha!

A young man in a supermarket said he had never seen such a peaceful toddler (in an environment where they are usually not allowed to touch things). I told him I put it down to dd having several tasks when we go grocery shopping (all of which she picked herself!): Climbing in the shopping cart (with my help), putting the products I hand her in the shopping cart, handing me the products at the check out, taking a bill I hand her and handing it to the cashier, taking the receipt and putting it in my bag. Really, with all of these assignments, you have no time for a tantrum.

~ Note to self:

How to spend the day the Continuum way:
1. Do an activity.
2. Find a way to let child participate.
3. Focus on task.
Everyone happy.

~ We spend more and more time in the woods. We try to make it two days a week, and go for five to six hours (this is a long as we can before sunset). We keep on finding new paths, plus hiking is probably the least child-centered activity I know. Everyone is happy in nature, we do our keep-fit trail, have snacks, explore whatever we find on the ground, etc.

~ Had two more sessions with Alexsandra Burt in the meantime but no time to blog about it.
In a nutshell:
I was struggling with knowing what would be the CC way of reacting when dd has been playing happily for a while when we were some place else, but then starts saying "mommy!" to call me. We discussed ways for me to react to that without making a big child-centered fuss about dd whining.

~ I love my dad! It's nothing new but I realized once more what a good CC grand-father he is. We went to see him for three days and did some short hikes in the woods. We were rather child-centered inside (reading books to dd - I did my best to read the book myself, look at the pictures, talk about them, and have dd watch me). My youngest sister (15 y/o) is fantastic with dd. I trust she will be a wonderful mother herself one day.

Our CC week

~ We're still averaging three hours in nature (or at least in a park) daily. Last Thursday we spent five hours on a keep-fit-trail and I felt sooo good afterwards! It was a joy to be out in nature for so long, and afterwards it was a joy to come home.
Dd is having tons of fun with people we meet.
We met a very sweet little girl (4 y/o) with her sister and her grand-parents. The girl was so good with dd! I would like to write more on that but this blogpost is alreay too long as it is.

~ I read something about "children's right to be ordinary" and it totally resonated with me.

~ Last time I met with my mommy friends I held one little boy, and dd became a bit jealous. Not sure when that came from.

~ Task-oriented group acitivities. It's all about task-oriented group actitivies. Some days ago dd got bored (we were at home) and started to whine and complain. I took her to the kitchen and we washed the dishes. I put the wet dishes on a towel on the floor, and we dryed them together. Then I put dd on a box and she put the cutlery in the drawer (with a little help, obviously). Seriously, the moment she had something to do she was back to her normal happy self again. 

~ We did gymnastics at home and she loves when I do a simple forward roll on a mattress. She tried to do the same and ran towards the mattress, giggling, and then somewhat jumping to do a forward roll herself (it didn't really turn out correctly but we had so much fun!).

from www.sportunterricht.de

~ Dd took her clothes off the laundry rack and put them in the closet. Later on she also attempted to fold socks the way I do. She put her hand in one sock and then wasn't sure what to do and therefore put it aside. So sweet. 

Dd putting her clothes in the closet - right where they belong

~ I often just say "I'd like to change your diapers" or "I'd like to help you put on your jacket before we go out". Then dd comes to me and we change her diapers or I help her get dressed. Sometimes I think it's just too good to be true but it does indeed work that way! 

~ She has also started to carry a teddy bear around, hugging it and stroking its back.

~ For a while, hubby and dd practiced how to moo like a cow. Dd mood quite loudly whenever she saw a picture of a cow. I said casually "You know, you can simply moo in a normal voice".  Just giving her the information, and making no big fuss about her mooing loudly. And she did simply say it normally from then on. I really like when things work like that!

~ My parents-in-law sent dd a parcel and she had tons of fun unpacking it.

~ Dd wants to use swings on her own now.

~ I also realized that she never walks holding my hand. She walks by herself when we're outside. Only once did she ever grab my hand (not sure why) and let it go after some seconds. So often somebody will tell me how great dd is walking. First I thought it's a polite compliment, but now I wonder if people feel compelled to say something because we're usually seeing toddlers in strollers?

~ I feel pretty relaxed by now being outside with dd. She follows me and I don't have to worry about it. At first, when she started to really walk outside, it was as new for me as it was for her, but we're used to it by now. As long as she is allowed to hold something, I can even take her to supermarkets and she won't touch a thing! Yesterday she followed me through an entire narrow Turkish shop, happily carrying an avocado and keeping up with me.

Our CC week

~ It occured to me I have to carry a little booklet with me at all times. Like I did when I traveled the world. Then I can write down quickly all the insights I have while out and about with dd.

~ Dd starts helping us so much more than before. It's beyond cute sometimes. When my husband did the laundry and put everything into a big IKEA bag to take it to the dryer at the laundromat, she got herself another IKEA bag and put other clothes in there (stuff I am going to sell on ebay). Then she dragged the bag to our front door and placed it next to the one my husband had prepared.

The other day I was folding towels, and being a perfect little copycat, she even did my exact hand movements. I had such a hard time suppressing my laughter.

On the left are two kitchen towels that dd folded, on the right is the pile I did. The result is not impressive, but seeing her folding towels was very cute.

~ We decluttered dd's toys a bit and that kept us busy for quite a while.

 

 ~ We went for a hike in the woods yesterday and returned to the train station before it got dark. But no trains were coming. So we waited for almost an hour in the cold and dark. BUT I had a lovely lady to talk with, and dd played with a boy of maybe 3 or 4 years who had a bicycle. They had so much fun. It was almost like having a personal babysitter. 

Being on the train is often very easy, too, when someone is happily playing or otherwise communicating with dd. 

~ We've been meeting up for a few months now with some other mothers and their children in a private play group, at different locations. We met on Friday and this time it was particularly good. It's always nice to see the "gang" but this time was special. 

~ No bad/unpleasant situations this week that I recall. All good!

~ Oh, and I finally created a Facebook page (please don't expect anything fancy!). All blogposts will be linked there to make following the blog via FB easy as pie!

Our CC week - part 2

Some things that happened during the last weeks and I somehow forgot to mention them ...

~ I get it now - children need CONTINUOUS activity. We had a really amazing day a while ago. We went to an English baby group in the a.m., then headed to the woods for a hike, and had a day filled with activities. I don't remember what we did but we were very busy all day long. At the end of the day we were totally worn out. You know the feeling when you're so tired that everything becomes funny? Dd and I got into a very silly mood and did the lift scene from "Dirty Dancing" a couple of times, always with tons of laughter. She ran towards me and I lift her up, turned around, and putting her down again. Over and over again. Oh dear!
I totally got it then - you know all these situations with children which can be a real pain in the neck? When they aren't allowed to touch anything, need to keep quiet for a while, etc.? None of that came up on that day. It was just fantastic.
Now I know why Alexsandra Burt told me that NVC etc. are certainly good tools, but if you're really in the continuum, you won't need any of that.
I remember thinking, WOW, I really want to get to that place one day.
And now we did! Thanks, Universe.

~ It's easier than I thought to be outside in road traffic with dd. She mostly follows me, and if not, I wait for her to notice she's no longer following me, smile at her and then she usually hurrys up to catch up with me. She is still slow enough for me to hopefully be able to catch her easily should she ever have the idea to run into a car, etc.

~ Feeding ducks has become a new activity for us.

~ We had to go to the post office some days ago. There's a lot of stuff I don't want dd to touch, plus I kind of wanted her to stay in the queue. I put her down when she wanted to, and she magically simply wandered around a bit but always came back. It was so much easier than I thought.

~ We had one situation when I met for lunch with an ex co-worker of mine. We went for a walk. It was a bit stressful for me to be there on time, and at one point I wanted to text my friend we couldn't make it. In the corporate world you get one hour for lunch (or less), but to be somewhere right on time with an active toddler can be difficult at times. Anyway. While my friend and I sat and ate, dd played a bit by herself around us, greeted people passing by, etc. We went for a short walk afterwards, and dd became fussy. At one point she cried and threw herself back in my arms, and I remembered not to engage with that behavior too much. Hm. I had to put her on the floor to put on the ring sling and she lay there crying for a moment.
On the positive side, I did not feel embarrassed or insecure at all. I put on the ring sling, picked dd up and put her in the sling. She nursed a bit and things were back to normal.

~ I met a really nice mother and her little boy at the post office and she asked about my ring sling. We agreed to meet up at my place so she could try my ring slings. I ended up borrowing her one of mine (I personally like to try things out before I finally buy something). So happy about that! We had a really nice chat and the children seemed to get along fine, too.
The same day, I went shopping with dd and a pregnant lady asked me about the ring sling. Haha. I like the ring sling a lot, so I'm always happy to share my experiences. If you don't use them you can fold them and put them in your backpack/purse, and if you want to carry your child for a while they're quick to use. Love them!

This post is longer than I planned it to be ....

I'll conclude today's post by recommending this article to German speaking readers:
http://www.zeit.de/2014/38/kindheit-deutschland-erziehung
It's about why today's parents are better than any generation of parents before them (in contrast to what some German authors want us to believe - that today's parents are an incompetent bunch of insecure helicopter mothers and fathers).
Based on scientific studies paired with common sense. 
This article really made my day.

Our CC week

This is what happened last week:

~ We finally bought a rear facing car seat for dd! We don't use the car with her very much so her growing out of her baby car seat was not so much of a problem.

Perhaps some people know this but I certainly didn't before I came across that info online:
Children should be in a rear facing car seat until they are four years old. 
I had no idea this is so much safer!

source: http://www.kiddies24.de

~ Now that dd has learned how to walk properly she is working on speaking in actual words. So sweet! Things like: Yes, no, hi, good-bye, mommy, daddy, doggy, teddy, please, thank you (in German).

~ Two days ago she looked at us very seriously and said something. She sounded somewhat said and hopeless. She repeated it over and over again. We really have no clue what it means. She speaks with tons of patience, the same thing over and over. We have guessed every meaning that came to mind. It sounds a bit like Elven language from Lord of the Rings to me. It sounded close to "switch light off" and "sad, too" (in German).

~ I still enjoy LLL meet-ups a lot. I always learn something new or gain a new perspective on things I already know.

~ We LOVE our time in the woods! We even saw a baby deer yesterday.

~ I re-discovered CLEANING as a group activity. Our place looks quite nice right now! I spoke to hubby today about how I find it important to know how to clean something best. It sounds so boring and unimportant. Still, I remember my friends and I starting out at university with some of us not really knowing how to do certain things. I never really had to clean in our home (everything else I had to help with), so I only had a vague idea on how to approach cleaning. What products to use, how often, how to remove certain stains from clothes, etc.
It sounds almost ridiculous but I find it very liberating to be able to take care of one's own place after moving out of the parents' house.
I know our mothers/stepmothers/etc. only wanted the best for us, so most of us did not have to help with daily chores. Clean clothes simply showed up in the closet after a while.
I find it more valuable though to know how to do this myself. Which is why I'll happily clean in front of dd so she can see how it's done.

Our CC week

This week was fun because ...

... it was my dad's birthday, and we spent some days at his place to celebrate with him.

Dd helping me to pack a parcel

~ Dd is a real bundle of joy. At least most of the time. It's rare for her not to be a happy-smily-yay little girl. Which, in turn, makes me a happy mother, at least most of the time!

~ She greets everyone outside with a loud "hi!!!!!" and a big smile. Oh my goodness. She loves people.

~ It's still weird for me to carry her so little outside. She weighs 11kg (approx. 24 pounds) now. I still love carrying my little one. I mostly carry her in arms when we are going for a walk. Some seconds are enough for her to recover, and then she almost jumps down on her own.

~ Hubby and dd went to a zoo for the first time. They were gone for FOUR hours. She has never been away from me for that long. They both enjoyed it so much. They were so much in love when they came home! Hubby said several times he will always remember that day. They enjoyed it so much, and it was the first time they did something on their own (other than a longer walk).

~ Gosh, I really dislike clipping dd's nails. Or rather how much she hates it. I have to clip them often because she has atopic eczema and scratches herself often. Sometimes it goes really well, especially if someone or something distracts dd a bit. Sometimes not at all. It's easier if I put her in front of the tv / youtube - everything's better than having a crying toddler and try to clip the fingernails.

~ Washing her hair is easy compared to clipping nails. I only rinse her hair with water every now and then, and I do it quickly. She's not a big fan but it's over before she can complain about it. 

~ Forgot to mention that when we were at my mother's house, I left her with my mother to take some parcels to the post office two days in a row. She stayed with her just fine, and both times I came home and they were both napping. Haha. Very sweet! Dd cried the first time when I left, but it did feel ok and I heard how she stopped crying some seconds later. The second time she gave me a big smile and waved good bye. This was the first time I left her with someone other than my husband. I was only gone for 20-30mins but still.

~ Dd lost one shoe while climbing up the stairs to our apartment. She called for me and the way she "spoke" and acted, I KNEW she had lost her shoe. I went back and there it was, some steps below her. I was surprised how well the communication worked, through a mixture of actual verbal language, gestures, context and telepathy. She did not actually say "Mommy, I lost my shoe", but it was obvious to me that this was what she meant to express. 

Our CC week

~ Dd and I had to spend a week at my mother's place (hubby was so sick he wanted our apartment for himself).
Whoa! You know how family can be. I've somehow gotten through this. I'm kidding, but seriously, it's not always easy for me to be with my own mother. BUT my mother has a dog, and the dog and dd really became friends. The dog discovered that dd loves to feed him, and whoever feeds him is his new best friend. Dd discovered that the dog is quite interesting and loves to eat whatever food she throws up in the air.

Us playing (for lack of a better activity). I build something bridge-like, put plastic cups on it, and threw little objects until all plastic cups were on the floor.

Dd on one of our little hikes in nature

Dd dancing with a dancing dog (he moves his ears and plays a song. Horrible, if you ask me, but dd loves this thing)

 

My mother and my daughter :-)

~ I went to see my own grandmother. She said that she would still learn so much about parenting FROM ME. Yes, she really said that, after having raised two sons and four grandchildren (we spent tons of time at her place). She's 90 years old now. She admitted she had been worried about dd and myself being too close, and that dd would never want to separate from me.
When my youngest sister told her how happily dd played with everyone at the playground last time we went there, my grandmother was very relieved. When dd was born she told me to let her cry, and let her sleep on her own. I know she really meant well. I admire that at 90 years, she is still flexible enough to change her mind on things! She said that all the co-sleeping and baby-wearing seem to have worked well for us.

Our CC week

A bit late but here it goes ....

~ Taking public transit is so much easier now. Not sure why. A couple of times I sat down with her, and she did not move or fuss in the wrap. If she did, it was just a bit, and I just got up etc. Not much was necessary to keep dd happy.

A dear mommy friend and I went for a hike out of the city with the little ones. It was so easy to take the train/bus with them.
We went on the same trip some months ago and were both covered in sweat (and it only takes us 16mins to get there) before we even started the hike. It was quite a bit of work to keep the children happy, and at some point I felt very humble. It's hard to act cool when a very fussy toddler tries to get off your lap and run through the train.
So I was very pleased how easy it was this time. 

Dd exploring the path before of us.

Some older boys passing by.

~ Diaper changes are a breeze by now. Sometimes I ask her to come to me and then she comes and I change her diapers.

~ Dd has still been crawling a lot but now (at 15 months) is walking to get from A to B. It was October 10 (as a first-time mother I had to write that down) that for the first time ever, she walked home by herself. It felt awkward not to carry her. I was not prepared for that. Anyway, our in-arms-phase has definitely come to an end now.

~ She can be so charming. Waving good bye, smiling at people, etc. I see so many happy faces when we meet new people.

~ She does some sort of wild dance when she hears the theme song of "Big Bang Theory" (the only tv we watch - I do my best to limit tv). She also danced with my mother when we went to a big department store and there was some lovely music playing.

~ We had to see an ophthalmologist and it was fuss-free.

~ Dd looked at the reflection of her hand on the metal tab in our bath tub. I believe she starts to realize it's her own hand.

~ A bit OT, but things are so much better with hubby. We had some arguments and were a bit stressed a while ago. It's nice to feel the love again.

~ Dd fell off the couch. Ouch. I saw her sitting on the very edge of our couch and turned around to use the laptop quickly. Then I heard her hit the floor. Ouch again. Not sure if I unconsciously expected her to fall. In any case, it reminded me to keep positive pictures in my mind to create positive expectations. Expecting her to stay on the couch, etc.

~ Thansk to CC consultant Alexsandra Burt, I discovered the power of heartmath. Too much to write it all down, maybe in another blog post. I felt very calm and centered. I believe I even had more positive experiences!

~ And also re-discovered the power of direct speech. I was carrying dd on my back and she started to fuss. I normally take her out then. This time though, I asked her if she could stay there for another moment until I finish whatever I was doing. She became very calm and just sat there. Sometimes direct speech works so well, it's almost scary.

Our CC week

~ Lesson of the week: ALWAYS bring a ring sling.
We went to a babywearing meet-up and as a total first-time-mother I thought the little hike in the beginning would consist of a continuous walk. Haha! Dd (15 months) was by far the youngest child, and we stopped all the time so the older kids could explore the beautiful park. Which resulted in me wrapping her, then taking her out, wrapping her again, taking her out, wrapping her .... you get the picture. I normally always have BOTH a ring sling and a longer wrap with me, just in case. For long walks (sometimes dd falls asleep and I just walk by myself) I prefer the wrap because a ring sling hurts one shoulder after a while. For shorter periods of time, the ring sling is just so much quicker. Oh well, next time.

~ On that same hike, I started to take a little pride in my trust in dd's abilities to watch out for herself. Several times someone warned me about dd being about to fall. The sweetest was a Turkish (?) father of two who seemed genuinely concerned about dd falling down a slide. By now I pretty much know that sometimes she crawls / walks somewhere quickly, but stops when she has to. I've rarely ever seen her being incautious, at least not that I recall. It's a really empowering feeling.

~ We watched a documentary about Thor Heyerdahl, the big adventurer who sailed from Latin America to the Philippines with nothing but a raft and a small crew. I had heard his name before but wasn't aware of his accomplishments, especially in experimental archeology. I couldn't help but find an analogy to the CC when they explained how he build the raft, based on old knowledge from the ancient cultures he studied. Everyone advised him not to do it as it was obviously a very dangerous endeavor, but he trusted his instincts and did it anyway. He trusted that if it had been working for people centuries ago, he could repeat their experiences (and he successfully arrived in the Philippines after more than 100 days, with the entire crew alive). How cool was he? Simply figuring it must work, but having no example of something similar in his current life, and just trusting the process.

- Just a detail, but nail clipping went really well today. Dd was half asleep and nursing, and didn't mind me clipping her nails at all. Normally I try to be as gentle and quick as I can, but she often fights it and it's not exactly a fun moment for her.

~ We went out for lunch on my mom's birthday, and dd was really easy to be around. She sat in her chair, on my lap, and my husband took her out for a little walk. Even the ride there was easy. My mom was sitting next to her in the car, and judging by the grandmother & baby laughter in the back of the car, they both had fun.

~ This isn't specifically something I wanted to mention for this week, but I wanted to write it down anyway: Brushing teeth is always fun for us as dd virtually begs us to give her her toothbrush. She "brushes" her teeth herself and hands me her toothbrush to clean as soon as I clean mine. I will be careful to never mention to her that most children don't like brushing their teeth. I always act like it's a big treat.

Our CC week

I will try to blog once per week, which I should be able to do consistently.

The last few days, I found the following situations interesting in terms of TCC:

- We were in a park with large stairs. Dd wanted down so I took her out of the sling, put her down, and kept on walking (very slowly). She came down the stairs on her own, with caution and lots of focus on her movements. Two old ladies stopped and asked if dd was already able to get down the stairs herself.
I chose to be as honest as I could and said that I don't actually know, because this was the first time we really tried this. But that I have come to know dd as a cautious and and rather adept child so I wouldn't worry. It was nice to see how the old ladies trusted my judgement on this one. Plus dd was obviously fine and made it down the stairs all by herself.

- We get longer and longer stretches of sleep at night. We even had a night where we both must have slept 10 hours without any interruption. At least I don't remember any and my breast were full of milk in the morning, so it seems dd didn't nurse at night. Most often we sleep 5-6 hours in a row these days.
Dd naps once per day, mostly in the afternoon for around 2 hours on average.

- I tried a new ruck cross carry and find it very comfortable as dd's weigth is mostly on the chest pass and not so much on the shoulders. Dd must weigh around 21 dounds at the moment (almost 10kg) so I am probably lucky to have a rather light toddler.



stillen-und-tragen.de (thanks so the mother who uploaded this beautiful Picture!)


 

- I joined the facebook group "wrap jedis" and recommend it, tons of fun, and there is a lot of good advice on all the different carries. I love woven wraps for their versatility, and this group shows me a lot of new carries I can try.

- We went to our monthly cloth diaper meet-up, and dd climbed up the stairs to a little wooden house. She called for me when she wanted down. Which made me realize that she knows that she cannot do it herself yet (especially with lots of other children walking up and down the same small stairs). It's important to know that!

- Oh and an older boy beat her up. :-( When she was up in the house she suddenly started to cry and I was up there two nanoseconds later and pulled the boy off her. He totally did it on purpose and tried to hurt her. Seriously, seeing that broke my heart. Dd was fine some seconds later but I took it really hard! I need to watch out for her more when other children are around.

- I'm grateful for another little boy who just turned 3, and they are so sweet together. They make each other laugh, have lots of fun, and he often watches out for her. I've seen him tell other kids to take good care because she's still a baby. Heartwarming.

- I think that three hours of time spent ouside daily are a good compromise for us at the moment. It's a good base for dd and what I can do realistically on a daily basis.

- I have gotten a little better at doing my daily activities with dd. It's not always super easy to find an age-appropriate way for her to join in. But we're getting there. I'm having another skype session on this specifically with Alexsandra Burt tonight. How to keep dd happy inside.

Consulting session #4 with Alexsandra Burt

I've been wanting to write this blog post for a while now. Weeks have gone by since we've had our fourth session.

Every time I feel so relieved, reassured, and understood.

This time we spoke about some issues I have when we are inside a lot.

The most important message was: Carry on joyously what you're doing!

Quite often, I let myself get distracted by dd complaining or making unhappy sounds. Ok, every time I get distracted by that. I wonder if I did something wrong, why we're not in the continuum, and what not.

I practiced that a lot - just carrying on what I was doing. It was easy because I no longer feel bad if she complains a little. I just try to find a way she can help me with what I'm doing, or I find something she can do (things she has forgotten about), or I take her outside (that is almost guaranteed to work). Pretty much what I did before, but without beating myself up!

We talked about so much else, but this was the most important message for me this time.

Not to try so hard, but enjoy more. Not to take frustration over something dd cannot get to work right away for unhappiness.

Humor and joy

Some days ago I asked hubby if I should hold dd while he is doing chores at night (aering the room, packing his bag for the next day).

His reply was: "We're fully in the continuum, please don't disturb!".

I had a really good laugh.

He has a way of using the things I talk about in little jokes a few days later. I had told him about doing all our daily activities with dd, and apparently he got the message.

I had fun today, too, making fun of myself. It helps me to lighten up when I take this entire parenting thing too seriously.

A famous parenting author talks about how we should be "light houses" for our children.

I washed my hands and dd wanted to be picked up, and I wanted to finish washing my hands. Dd was grumbling a little and I said "Common, I'm the light house here". Had to laugh about my own joke and dd laughed with me.

Quick note on afternoon naps

While dd was napping, I went to the bathroom to wash my hair. She woke up while I was still busy, and cried a bit. But for the first time today, she just got up and looked for me!

Normally she stays in bed crying (and I never really know why, she's not exactly shy to look for us in any other situation).

Happy!

Out in nature

Day before yesterday

We went to a beautiful place in nature, a 30 min ride from our place by public transport. We took a long walk, and paused a lot so dd could crawl and explore. It was a 3 hour hike in total.

Lunchbreak with dd

Later on dd picked some blackberries herself. Don't ask me how she did it without hurting herself! There were some berries growing close to the ground, surrounded by lots of snails, dirt, and obviously thorns. I let her do what she wanted, and she picked some berries herself. How can she be so good at it? I have no idea. I did some wild movements getting to the berries myself, so I somewhat expected her to scratch herself. I trusted she would stop and call for me as soon as it hurts, though, so I just let her.

And she picked some fine berries!

 

We headed to a park later on and stayed there for another two hours.

She really resisted staying in the sling when we waited for the subway to get back home. For 10mins, I wasn't sure what to do. I rocked her back and forth, didn't engage with her, etc. She cried really loud though. Hm. Next time I would get up with her and walk around.

It was only 10mins but still. Did I engage with her too much before? Was it because her movements were restricted too much during the days before today?


Yesterday

This morning I saw a young woman whom I met a while ago in our grocery store. She was pregnant and past her due date, and we got to talk a little. I met her again some days later and baby was in a stroller. I did not say anything, assuming that everyone tells her how to do things anyway. This morning I saw her carrying her baby in a woven wrap! We had no time to talk so we just said hello. I am so happy for her!

We explored a part of the city I haven't been to before. Almost 4 hours of hiking and exploring with dd. 

 

  

Probably the longest slide I've ever seen. Yes, we used it on our way back. So fun!

Great view over the city.

On both days, we took lots of breaks so dd could explore as much as possible. I carried her a ring sling. We took two bottles of water, dried fruit and bread with us.

Overall we had a fantastic time, and the ring sling and what we brought (water/fruit/bread) got us through the day just fine!

Thoughts on feeling loved

Dd at 4 months old in our favorite wrap.

I just remembered that having had the full in-arms-phase must make a big difference in how we perceive life later on.

So often we as parents think "Oh no, I don't want to say / do this to my child, it would have hurt me so much in my own childhood". How often have we felt rejected, not loved, not seen, and judged unfairly?

With the wonderful start in life that CC children have, they feel loved. They must perceive life so differently!

Without the underlying notion on feeling rejected, I would have taken so many things differently. I might have heard "Please don't do this" as "Please don't do this, and I love you" instead of "How stupid you are, how can you? Please don't do this. You're a burden to me!".

I sometimes found it challenging to be in touch with baby 24/7 for the first months. But the thought of how much it will benefit dd made is so worth it. In hindsight, I wish I had never put her down. I did here and there, because I heard about it all the time.

Jean Liedloff describes in her book how the feeling of being high on heroin can only mimick what babys carried in arms feel. Now isn't that a great reason to carry our little ones? Making them feel high on love?

Dd only picks certain people

After five days of coughing, sneezing and feeling under the weather, I was finally feeling well enough yesterday to take dd shopping and to the playground later on.

She has some new pants now that will serve her well playing outside (can you see my new commitment to spending tons of time outside? ha!).

At the playground, I realized that she always picks a certain type of parent to go to. She seems to prefer the strong, independent type. Loving and kind, but usually engaged in doing something else (mostly with their own child). Someone I wouldn't mind having as a co-worker. I've never seen her go to anyone I couldn't stand. Oddly enough, there was always something special about the people she crawls to. She plays well with their children, too, although at this age they still lose interest in each other pretty quickly and then go off to explore something else.

Oh, and after five days with little movement and stimulus for dd, I could tell she needs more than that. She just wasn't the happy-bubbly-joyful little thing she so often is. Last night I could tell how the rather active day had done both of us good.

Watching tv and being child-centered

I have come down with a really bad cold. I can manage, but I had to cancel playgroups and outside actitivities for two days now. I figured that feeling as bad as I do, I would allow us to watch tv, which we normally don't do other than the 8p.m. news. And I figured I might indulge a bit in child-centered play with dd, and NOT beat myself up for it.

I hardly did anything but sit on the couch and rest. Dd entertained herself easily. Sometimes she came for some breastmilk, sometimes she handed me toys and I played with her for a minute or two. I did not think about how I'm parenting her for one second. I felt like I deserve a break. I did not care about our next activitiy, about how much time we spend outside, about getting fresh air and movement, about eating well. Feeling weak and tired, blowing my nose all day, I just made do.

And guess what, we had two easy days. Maybe not Yequana level perfection, but a lot easier than our normal days. She just feel asleep in the wrap without any fuss at all, and without nursing.

I seriously wonder if I make things more complicated than they have to be, taking her to locations where I have to restrict her need for movement, at least for some time. Observing whether she seems to be unsatisfied, and thinking about how it's probably best to do nothing, but wondering if I'm still in the Continuum.

I'm sure she felt some frustration today if something didn't work, etc., but I only noticed it in the periphery. I hate to say it, but two days of watching trash tv really helped with that! My focus was on the tv so my thoughts could not revolve around my parenting.

Definitely something to keep in mind! I am glad I had a cold now so I could experience how effortless it all can be. I hope it's not all just a conincidence.

Some group activities

Nothing major to report so far but I have discovered a few more things that were entertaining for all of us, and needed to be done anyway.

We cut out the labels of some new IKEA washcloths (I use these as cloth diapers in blueberry capri covers).

We also spent more time in our local health food store than usual, choosing veggies. At home I chopped them up kneeling on the floor, and it was both fun and relaxing to do this with dd. She helped a lot and enjoyed snacking on what we had. I felt like a competent mother for at least 10 minutes. Yeah!

On Sunday we went to a vegan café that opened up some weeks ago with dh. Although we do get into arguments a lot more since dd is some months old, it was a really nice family activity overall.

Today my mother came over to see us, and we went to the water playground together. All of us enjoyed it. Time flies if I find a good activity for all of us.

Pure bliss

Just realized how blissful our morning was.

Waking up next to dd, feeling her warm body and her soft skin, nursing her in bed while looking out of the window and watching the trees swaying in the chilly wind.

It really is pure bliss to wake up with dd.

Struggling to find group activities

I'm struggling to find group activities that work for us.

I have found a few things here and there, but nothing that I would do for very long. Talking with dh today, I realized I often prefer being inside with dd because she can crawl / walk where ever she wants to. Outside, it's another story. I have to intervene when she crawls towards a street, when we wait for the bus/train. I don't know what to do to keep myself busy. At playgrounds or the riverside, I mostly sit and watch, until after 60mins or so dd usually loses interest in exploring her surroundings and comes to sit on my lap.

Before I had dd, I would ...
~ ride my bike to work (sedentary office job) and back from Monday to Friday, around 45 mins in total
~ do 1:15h of yoga on Mondays
~ do 1:15h of oriental dance on Thursdays and often on Tuesdays/Wednesdays too
~ walk everywhere
~ spend the weekends doing chores and watching tv with dh
~ spend lots of time at home on my laptop

Looking at what we do now ...
~ we still walk to a lot to places we need to go
~ use public transport several times a week (I have to keep her on her seat)
~ meet-up with our playgroup or have people coming over around 3-5x a week (it's often boring for dd to have people coming over, and child-centered, playgroup is much better)
~ go to playgrounds (I sometimes have to keep her from crawling towards some children, so I mostly avoid playgrounds)
~ power walking with dd sometimes, I would like to make that a (daily?) habit, to replace the 45 bike ride
~ laptop time is when dd naps
~ we do chores together whenever we can, and dd helps or plays with whatever we are using

I feel like I need to do so much more to provide a stimulating environment for her. I have made big efforts in that arena, but very often felt like she was not really interested, or what we did did not match her needs (or mine).

A friend and I went hiking with the little ones, but it started to rain heavily and we had to hurry up to finish the hike. We did not place them down to play, and they cried in the carriers. It was adventurous and most entertaining for us, as being outside in the rain and making do can be really nice. For the children, I don't know. Do they like it? Not sure. My impression was that dd was quite restricted in her movements on that day.

On walks or power walks she often fusses in the wrap, so much that I take her out and let her play on the ground. Then again, this isn't how a power walk is supposed to happen, and I don't want to stand next to her in a random place and watch her play (which happened once - when I put her back in the wrap she kept on fussing. Phew!)

Dh and I came up with making food prep and eating more of an activity. Going to the health food store, buying food, preparing it. That could be something we spend more time on.

I don't want to create things we don't need. This could be something to keep in mind though (doing handicrafts maybe). Not sure it's interesting enough for me though. I have been sewing two ring slings but don't need to sew anything else at the moment. I started to look into juggling but lost interest.

I love decluttering and it was joyful for dd as well to play with whatever I moved around to see what we want to keep.

What else do you do with a 13months old that is interesting for yourself, and good for the lo to join in if she feels like it?

From the book: The party atmosphere

"This party atmosphere is the everyday norm. Their parties, in fact, cannot do much to improve on the customary high level of fun".

from: Jean Liedloff, The Continuum Concept

I love the days when my dh comes home and we do a little dance, just for fun. We put on music on youtube, one of us is holding dd, and we dance. She loves it so much, and so do we! 

I also love having fun. Last night my sister came to visit, and we often laugh a lot. I believe this is so healthy for all of us. In these moments I don't even think about if it was a "good" CC parenting day or not - I'm just having fun, and we're going with the flow of joy and laughter. 

The darn car seat

We spent some days at my mother's house. She came to pick us up by car. It's a 45min ride to her place.

For me, this means some tense 45mins in which I usually do everything I can to keep dd (13 months)  entertained. If I don't, she cries and wants out. Oh dear. It's always tough and I avoid the car if I can help it. It's a lot easier on the train, although she wants to move around more than I can safely allow her.

I always thought babies LOVE the car seat, as anyone I know had told me this had been their last resort: If all else fails, put baby in the car seat and take a ride. We never had to do this, but I kept in mind that car seats make for happy babies. Not sure why this isn't the case for us.

Anyway, at some point my mother and I stopped talking and she put on the radio and I moved a little with the music. This really helped! Dd stared at me the rest of the way. She wasn't super happy but she didn't cry either. I sang a little, I danced (well, as much as you can sitting in a car), and listened to the songs.

Back home, I wondered if this was because I really focused on the music, listened to it and enjoyed it. And I did NOT spy on dd to see if she seems fine.

Alexsandra Burt told me to trust dd to find her way in the surroundings of a car.

I'm doing my best, and maybe listening to music and thus not focusing so much on dd is a first real result.

Our favorite playground

I really believe now that the water playground, some 15mins away from our apartment, is dd's favorite place to be.

She can hardly contain her excitement once we turn into the road that leads to the water playground.

Today we couldn't stay very long and she cried when we had to leave.

Alexsandra said she would probably have her favorite places soon, and now she does!

Unlearning. Not learning.

It occured to me that TCC is mostly about unlearning. Not about learning something new.

NOT doing what everyone else is doing can range from feeling funny to being hard at first, I noticed. It gets so much easier with time, though. Plus many families are already doing attachment parenting etc.

The times I have to remind myself of something, I usually remember NOT to do something. Not to interfere, not to "help", and to simply trust.

From the book: Giving others the complete freedom of choice

"He had let me know the problem; that was all the persuasion we would use".

from: Jean Liedloff, The Continuum Concept

I find it so very impressing to read about how the Yequana's ability to accept whatever any person chooses to do. It makes me think back of how I have been treated. 

How good it felt when I told my father what I was going to do, and even when it was something he would not recommend I do, he rarely said anything more than "Hm, okay, then do it". He had given me his opinion, and what I do with it is my choice.

My mother was very accepting when I was around 4 years old and had a doctor's appointment. For some reason I wanted to wear some kind of hat, and I found that our pasta strainer would be appropriate. My mother said that I couldn't go with a strainer of my head. I argued that old men would wear hats and no one would tell them to take them off. My mother was convinced and so I had the entire appointment (which was only a routine check-up anyway) with a pasta strainer on my head. It still makes me laugh to think about that.

I also remember so many times that someone tried to influence what I do, telling me how something else would be better, or that I should think of X or Y or Z. It feels draining and tiring. Whatever I choose to do then, it will always feel somewhat wrong. 

I want to observe myself more closely this week. When do I not give someone the complete freedom of choice? When do I try to influence what someone else is doing, assuming I know better than him/her? Particularly when it comes to dd. 

I try to interfere as little as possible with what she's doing. I respect her wish not to wear much clothing at the moment, except for a diaper and a bodysuit. Without a diaper, too much pee goes everywhere. Without a bodysuit, she takes her cloth diaper off (it's easy to open). She sleeps whenever she wants to, she eats whatever she wants and how much she wants. She can completely dirty herself when she plays outside. She can exchange smiles and communicate with everyone she wants to. Hm. I guess at 13 months, this is probably it. This topic might become more relevant in some years I guess. 

Just realized I always try to influence dh not to buy so much stuff!

Daily play

Yesterday we did:

~ running several errands in the a.m.

~ several baths

~ went to water playground for 45mins (wanted to stay longer but it started to rain heavily followed by a storm)

Went to bed at 10pm and nursed at 2am and 6am.

It was not enough movement and time outside yesterday, and I made up for it this morning when we went to the water playgroung again, extra long 90mins, until dd started to crawl into the ring sling and didn't seem interested in playing anymore.

I noticed how excited dd gets when we approach the water playground. Does she know where we are? I'm not sure yet. She does often fuss or get unhappy when we walk through the streets to lead to our home. I'm wondering if that is simply because she knows we go back inside?

So this was what we did for an entire week. It was not really a typical week for us. I have reduced our social life a lot, as it was simply getting too much.

I want to spend more time going places with dd. There's so many places around here we can reach by train, and that will probably make a good day trip.

Daily play

Yesterday we did:

~ 30min powerwalking

~ 1:15 hours at playground

~ a bath

~ 4 hours at a baby birthday party

Dd fell asleep in the afternoon but we needed to leave for the party then. She woke up 30mins later. She often sleeps little during the day if we are out and about a lot.

She fell asleep at 9:30pm while we were watching TV (I know, I know .... we keep that to a minimum). I nursed her once more at 11:30pm or so, and then we woke up at 7am. It's so nice to get so much sleep in one stretch. I really don't mind waking up once per night, but if I can I'll just sleep through.

Not sure dd was perfectly-Yequana-happy at the party. She did seem a bit fussy to me. I'm not sure what I could have done differently though. I know it's probably not a big deal, but hey, now that I'm working on it, why not try to achieve more?

Daily play & I believe I "get it" now

Yesterday we did:

~ 1:15 hours at another playground (we have a lot around here)

I normally don't go to playgrounds. I find it hard to keep my CC groove when I'm there (everyone around me seems to stare at their kids and tell them what to do, and what not to do, and sometimes I wonder if they think I'm neglecting my child). But this week I have been there quite a bit, and now that dd is a little older, it becomes easier. And I can tell that I am gaining CC experience week by week. It's all getting so much easier. 

I understood for the first time what Alexsandra Burt really means by "task-oriented activities". Not child-centered, but task-oriented. That's so important. When we arrived, I decided I would build something at the playground. I build a beautiful sand tower, decorated it with tons of branches and leaves, and stones. It looked quite nice when it was done, and took me a lot of time. I enjoyed doing it, and dd helped a lot.

My only goal was building that tower, then decorating it, etc. I did not think about making anyone happy, I did not wonder if I meet dd's developmental needs, etc. I simply found something nice to do, spent time doing it, and dd's joined me whenever she felt like it.

I felt wonderful and full of confidence. I am more and more getting the feeling that I know what to do.

~ 2 hours of housekeeping with dd in ring sling

Alexsandra Burt told me that she did a 24 hour experiment with her son after her first call with Jean Liedloff. She was very active and carried her baby all the time.

My daughter is 13 months already but doesn't really walk yet. I do not carry her all the time anymore, just mostly. She plays and crawls a lot an her own, too. But today I thought I will do everything that needs to be done with her in the ring sling. I normally do this on my own, because it's more practical, or with her sitting next to me and helping (although that doesn't work with every task).

Boy! She was so relaxed and quiet. Yequana style, I'd day. Ha ha.

We went grocery shopping with dh later on, and while another child had a tantrum at the check-out, dd was sitting in the sling so very quietly, just watching everyone. Aaaaah! One more aha moment for me.

The lady next to us ask: "Is she always such a good girl?". I told her I meet her needs for movement and exploration as much as I can, and when I do, all the excess energy is out and the baby is happy. The lady said this very much makes sense.

~ 45mins of grocery shopping with dh

I went to bed at 10pm, and dd joined me at 10:30pm. She fell asleep after some nursing. We nursed at 2am and 5am. Probably could have gotten more movement yesterday, and more time to explore in the evening. Not sure. It was a good and relaxed night but we've had better ones. 

Daily play

Yesterday we did:

~ 45mins power walking with dd and 15mins chilling out in the grass (mind you, she was still grinding her teeth while I was walking briskly)

~ 90min walk with plenty of time on grass

~ dancing at home

~ 3 hours at a good friend's place (we've met in a oriental dance group and for some reason, she's like a sister to me. And she loves dd, and is really good with children)

Dd and I took a nap for around 90mins in the late afternoon.

I realized today that when dd starts to "sing" and make noises, she is probably bored. As soon as I start singing something, or become more active, she gets so calm and watches me. We switch roles then.

My friend says that dd is SO joyful and low maintenance. Which was funny because I found that last ngiht, even though we had been moving a lot during the day (outside and at home), she still moved lot, started to grind her teeth, wave her arms, etc. For me it was a high maintenance night out. It seems that compared to other children, it really was nothing. I guess I need to remember more often that I have a rather easy job with dd. I don't like to compare myself, though. For me personally, dd seemed too agitated to be really relaxed and happy.

We went to bed at 10pm and she fell asleep after some nursing. I believe we nursed once at night, but I don't remember when. 

Daily play

Yesterday we did:

~ 45mins grocery shopping

~ several short baths

~ another 30mins of grocery shopping

~ 30mins walk to water playground (to see if pool is in direct sunshine around noon)

~ 15mins walking to water playground, 30mins play, 15mins walking back (I wanted to stay much longer but a storm came up and everyone left when lightning and thunder started)

~ 60mins of dancing with daddy (and myself) to youtube videos (to make up for little time outside today)

Overall it was not enough, I could tell. We went to bed at 10pm but it took dd longer to fall asleep. Also, she woke up twice to nurse (instead of once). 

Daily play

Yesterday we spent:

~ 30mins on the subway, almost 3 hours in a park at a lovely cloth diaper meet-up, 40mins back on the subway

~ quick bath for dd (in case you wonder, I fill the bathtub once in the morning and use it several times a day, often just for a quick wash, e.g. after eating juicy fruit.)

~ 30mins dancing to songs on youtube

~ 15mins walk to water playground, 2 hours playing with friends, 15mins walking back

Dd slept for around 2 hours (?) in the afternoon in the ring sling. 

We had a fresh and cool and lovely night out at the water playground! Perfect.

We went to bed at 10:30 and dd fell asleep quickly after some nursing. We nursed once more at 2:30ish.

She did seem bored while being at home during the day, which is why I started to dance with her. I have to observe this more closely to be absolutely sure, but I'd say the ONLY times I ever see her fuss or cry a little is at home.

Daily play

When I first talked with CC consultant Alexsandra Burt, she asked me a lot of specific questions in order to assess our individual needs.
One of the most important messages was: This baby needs a LOT of movement.
This is something that I would like to track on a daily basis for a while to see how much we actually get. 

Yesterday we spent:

~ 90mins at the playground (normally we don't go there but yesterday I had the feeling it would be good, and it was)

~ quick bath for dd

~ grocery shopping around noon

~ 60mins at a water playground near here where the children can go in some sort of outside pool. DEFINITELY will go there again after this first test! Wanted to stay longer but got hungry so went home after 60mins.

~ another bath for dd

I still carry her everywhere. She weighs arond 20 pounds now.
She fell asleep in the afternoon and later on slept very well at 10pm when we all went to bed (after some nursing). We nursed once during the night at 2:30ish.

Where I heard about TCC first

I was very lucky to meet the wonderful Anne Osborne in early 2012 when I was traveling Australia.

I was very much impressed by her son (of 8 years back then, if I remember correctly), and their very harmonious and absolutely non-adversarial relationship with each other. 

It was in this video that I heard about the Continuum Concept for the first time. At 6:30 min she talks about how highly she thinks of TCC.

Outside in the rain

I am constantly learning how to live more outside instead of inside.

With dd, I'm exploring new places in our city which I would never have gone if it wasn't for her.

Yesterday we went for a long walk in the pouring rain, to the other riverside. What I didn't know is that this is apparently the place where everyone walks their dogs. None of the dogs were on a leash so I had to use my best judgement on whether or not to pick dd up when one of the dogs ran towards us.

I let her play as much as she wanted, and in the end took off her wet clothes and put on dry ones.

Something made me smile: We walked past a pit, much like the one Jean Liedloff described in her book "The Continuum Concept". The big storm had eradicated the tree that had been standing there, and all that was left was a big hole in the ground where the root system used to be. People have thrown all kinds of trash in there by now.

Dd started to crawl away from me and explored the place. From where I was sitting, I could no longer see the pit, and I had simply forgotten about it. Later on, when I wanted to leave and went to pick her up, I saw she had been playing besides it most of the time. Just like in the book.

Funny coincidence, isn't it?

I'm actually glad I didn't see it, so I didn't have to worry about some mad dog pushing her in a big, deep, dirty pit full of broken pieces of glass!

Oh, the heat!

I thought I would spend so many summer days outside with dd.

At first it was so cold and rainy and I couldn't bring myself to let her crawl outside. 

Then a big storm hit our city, and the beautiful woods won't be accessible before October.

Now it is so warm that all you want to do is stay inside. Besides things like grocery shopping, we did just that: Staying at home.

Some cooling activities we enjoyed:

~ Making banana icecream. Freeze pieces of bananas in a glas jar, take out after 12-24 hours and blend in a strong blender. There's a special machine for that, too, by now, which I've never used though.

~ Being in the cool bathtub a lot. I left the water in there - very useful to clean dd quickly after eating melon from the fridge.

~ Making cucumber juice. A bit messy, but very refreshing, and a fun activity. Put in a cucumber, and juice comes out.

Part 7 - What I did with my baby when we had to stay inside

Weeks after our little hurricane here, the woods are still not accessible. Some paths are free to walk but not much, so mostly we go to safe parks and just walk around the city.

Today was another day we spent mostly inside. 

I've wanted to learn how to juggle for a long time. I watched a youtube tutorial and dd watched me while attempting to juggle. It's really not that easy but was a nice way to pass our time, and we had some good laughs!

From the book: The soft body tone of CC babies

"Millicent was surprised at the difference between Seth's body tone and that of other babies. 

His was soft, she said. The others all felt like pokers."

from: Jean Liedloff, The Continuum Concept

I have done the experiment. I have held some other babies here and there. First I thought that only trianed professionals would feel a difference, or very sensitive people. I was wrong! The difference is very noticeable.

My dd sometimes feels like liquid. Supersoft, so resistance whatsoever. Even on a not-so-good day with not enough movement and opportunities to explore the world, she stills feels soft. Always.

Other children I have held often felt firmer, and I remember one little girl who literally felt like a brick (I felt that only touching her leg, even before holding her). Her parents don't carry her.